Senior Mindset Coach at Samuel and Co Trading. While studying and practising many energy healing systems spanning 40 years (EFT, TAT, TCM, Yuen Method, NLP, Applied Kinesiology, Qigong etc). He gained qualifications in Massage, Reflexology, Hypnotherapy and Psychotherapy. His goal is to continue to help his clients experience freedom from life’s emotional trauma, stress, negativity, limiting beliefs and to holistically balance the Mind, Body and Spirit.
Hi everyone. In this article, I am going to suggest some different ways for you to create a positive mindset.
First of all, what does it mean to have a ‘positive mindset’, ‘what’s the purpose’ and is it ‘beneficial’? To answer those questions, you need to understand what I mean by ‘mind’. In this case, I’m talking about what you’re thinking, that inner voice of reason in your head, it’s the conversation that you’re having with yourself. Your ‘inner voice,’ triggers your emotional response to everyday situations. It strengthens or weakens your energy system, impacts your belief’s, changes your physiology and affects your immune system. This happens automatically because of your programming. As I’ve mentioned in previous articles, your programming is the product of all your childhood experiences and the people of influence around you while growing up. If you don’t change this negative self-talk, then your emotions will reflect your thoughts in your actions and affect the world around you. You’ll find that people don’t want to be around you or associate with you because of your negativity. You don’t have anything decent to say about anyone or anything. You become moody, aggressive, self-centred and even depressed. You may lose self-respect and don’t care about your appearance. This may lead to excessive drinking in order to mask the negative internal dialogue and at worst, could lead to the loss of your job, family, friends or self harm. However, you have the power to change this by creating a positive mindset.
While it may not be possible to control or change where you live, your family or even your job, you can start to change how and what you think. It takes awareness. Your conscious thoughts are yours and you control them, not anyone else. Your thoughts become your beliefs, and then your beliefs become your behaviours. The problem is that most people find it too difficult to change because it takes time and effort and unfortunately, some people are lazy. People try for a little while and then give up, just like those people that have a new years resolution to join the gym on January 1st. The intention is good but the commitment is lacking. People find a reason to blame someone or something in order to justify their lack of commitment, rather than take responsibility for their actions. As I have mentioned in previous articles, our reality is a reflection of the thoughts and beliefs we hold about life in general. What we focus on we attract and then our inner world (thoughts) can become our external reality (experience).
In order to change your thoughts, you first have to become aware of them. So take some time to become aware of your negative thoughts and perceptions and write them down. Don’t just acknowledge and dismiss them, write them down. Write down how you talk to yourself, your parents and friends. What bothers you about your work and work colleagues, world politics, crime, your local environment and the world in general? Take the time to become aware of your negative self-talk and write them all down.
You are the sum product of the events you experience – the environment and the people you interact with. Positive thinkers do not dwell on negative events, they look for the positive in each situation and build upon it. Looking for the positive in any situation is a deliberate process. It takes effort and concentration, perseverance and discipline. Positive thinking will work if you are willing to work at it. For the next seven days make an honest effort to bombard your mind with positive statements. When you wake up in the morning, think that you are strong, healthy and happy, whether you feel that way or not. Throughout the day, reinforce these feelings and thoughts. If at any time negative thoughts enter your mind, analyse why you’re having them, and change them into positive statements. At first, you may find this process artificial and unreal, but the more you persist and force yourself to change the negative into positive statements, the more realistic they become. You can transform yourself into a happy, healthy and enthusiastic person. You’ll begin to believe in yourself, and when you believe in yourself, nothing will stop you. Positive thinking… it’s not magic, you can’t pass exams or win a race just by thinking it. A belief is ineffective without action, but positive thinking, realistic goals and hard work will endure.
So let’s look at other ways in which you can change your negative thoughts into a positive mindset.
- Negative to Positive – When you become aware of any negative thoughts stop for a moment, then substitute the negative statement with a positive one. This way the last thing your subconscious remembers is the positive statement. It could be that you really hate a work colleague for the way they talk down to you. Instead, you could say, “He’s only talking that way because his parents got a divorce when he was 5 years old” (real or made-up).
By changing the negative self-talk, it gives a new meaning to the work colleagues’ attitude and, although it doesn’t change the colleague, it does allow your brain to reframe why they talk that way to you and removes the emotional assault.
- Replace negative thoughts like “I can’t do this” with, “I can do this, it’s just going to take me some time to complete”.
The statement “I can’t do this” is a closed-door and leaves no room for manoeuvre, there are no alternatives. Whereas the statement, “I can do this, it’s just going to take me some time to complete” leaves the door open for possibilities, options and choices. It leaves the mind open to finding ways to complete the task.
- Like-minded people – Surround yourself with people who think like you or people that you would like to become – mentors and people of influence. Those people that have a positive attitude. If your friends are negative and are always running other people down, moaning about the weather, the state of the country, politics etc., then their attitude, their negativity will rub off on you, and that’s because of those ‘Mirror Neurons’ I mentioned in a previous article.
Those same ‘Mirror Neurons’ can help you in wonderful, beneficial ways that you may not have considered. Log into YouTube and watch some of the motivational speakers. The sheer power of their commitment that ‘you can change’, you ‘will change’ is inspirational. Samuel used to listen to these motivational speakers each and every day. He downloaded them onto his phone and would play it while he was in the shower, getting ready for work and any free time that he had – every day for weeks!
Another way to use these wonderful ‘Mirror Neurons’ to change your habits and quality of life is by emulating entrepreneurs and people of influence. If there is someone that you respect, look up to or just wish that you could just be like then it’s possible. Just get video footage, YouTube videos, adverts or films of the person that you would like to be like. Watch the video’s and notice the persons’ characteristics; the way they walk, talk and carry themselves. The way they dress and any mannerisms that catch your eye. Now, all you need to do is copy them. That’s it, just copy them. Keep copying them until the mannerism becomes part of you. Just the way an actor or actress changes their voice to play a part in a movie – it just takes practice.
- Avoid Negativity – Avoid negativity at all costs. Whether it’s your friends or family – distance yourself from them. If it’s a radio chat show with people phoning in to complain or moan about Brexit, Donald Trump or anything else, turn the radio programme over to a music channel and sing along – connect those same inspiriational videos to your car via Bluetooth from your phone. If it’s negativity on a TV show or the news channel – either change the channel or move away so that you can’t hear it. Likewise, don’t read papers or magazines that have a negative theme.
- Me Time – Plan to spend time each day on you, what is called ‘me time’. Whether it’s ten minutes, half an hour, an hour it doesn’t matter. What is important is that you’re making time for yourself. Focus on the present and forget about the weather, the news, the job. Forget about everyone else and focus on yourself. This doesn’t make you an unsociable miserable person. It means that you’re acknowledging yourself and that you’re important. This is your life. You’re not your job, you’re not your boss, you’re not your friends, you’re you and you’re important. Your life is a journey so enjoy it. Your life is not just about getting a job, buying a house, getting married and having children. It’s also about the quality of your time.
So make time to relax, meditate, do yoga, read a book, phone a friend for a catch up, watch a comedy show and laugh or go for a walk through the woods. Nature has a wonderful way of calming you. Or turn off your phone, forget about texting, emails, facebook, twitter, Instagram and Tinder etc. Focus your attention on you and enjoy yourself – you can engage with the world when you’ve stopped focusing on yourself.
- Take Care of Yourself – Eat lots of nutrient-rich food that are close to its original form and not processed or deep-fried. Eat fruits, vegetables, whole-grains and nuts etc. Drink plenty of clean natural water and not flavoured. Stay away from drinks that include sugar and caffeine that are designed to keep you buzzing, focused and awake, like Monster, Redbull and Coke etc.
Exercise and stretch regularly 2-3 times per week. Go to the gym, ride a bike, go jogging, swimming, walk around the block, anything that raises your heart rate. This helps release endorphins, those feel-good chemicals that help reduce the effects of stress and negative thoughts. Make sure that you get enough sleep – read my next article no. 24 on sleep and why we need it.
- Stop Comparing Yourself – Society tries to shoe-horn you into a category to label you, to see where you ‘fit-in’. Through the evolution of mankind, there has always been a king, a chief, a leader, a boss, a figurehead and at the other end a slave, a worker, a servant, a peasant, a ‘dogs-body’. We have always had these extremes of wealth, poverty and those that fit somewhere in-between. A lot of society do not judge us on our skills and abilities, our kindness, integrity or courage but on our material wealth and what we own physically. The size of our house, where we live, our career, our car and the clothes that we wear etc. Our self-worth, how we value ourselves is governed on where we ‘fit-in’ to society, our social standing.
There will always be someone richer and someone poorer than you. Society deems wealth and money with success and winning and poverty and losing with failing. So we try to fit into an acceptable social slot by comparing ourselves to others that justifies our material possessions. We, therefore, end up placing too much emphasis on what other people’s opinions are about us. Most people tend to elevate themselves (social position) by putting you down. When you identify or agree with anyone’s negative opinions about you, it takes away your own personal power. They can only judge you based on their own personal life experiences that may have no similarities to yours. If you do notice yourself agreeing with other peoples opinion about yourself, stop, assess and reframe your thoughts.
- Failures are Learnings – Unfortunately, society has got it wrong. We are constantly judged on our ability to perform, to succeed, to pass certain standards. If we don’t reach the required level in a certain time then we’ve failed, according to ‘someone’. School, college and university dish out facts and figures, books to read and examples to practice. Then comes the exam. If you pass – great. If you fail – “at this rate, you won’t achieve anything in life”. Wow – talk about a slap in the face. Does that boost your confidence or make you feel like giving up? Instead, what they could have said was “okay, so you haven’t reached the required level for a pass and what this shows us is that you need to pay attention to is this, this and this”. So, instead of focusing on the negative, and giving up, use it as a springboard to launch yourself into more study to achieve the required standard to pass.
It took Thomas Edison’s lamp factory 2,774 attempts before a suitable material was found to create the light bulb (bamboo), and many more before it was commercially viable. The point here is that he learnt from the experiments that didn’t work rather than giving up. Failing is when you learn. Take responsibility for your actions and your attitude. Stop being a victim and start being a creator and change your thinking. Ask yourself, “What am I supposed to learn or gain from this experience?”.
- Practice Gratitude – Instead of complaining and focusing on what you don’t have, start focusing on the positive things that you do have. Remember, the law of attraction – what you focus on, you attract. Start focusing on all the things you take for granted; your health, your arms and legs, eyesight and hearing, your family and friends and career. The food you eat, the clothes you wear. If you think there’s no purpose then go and walk around town. Notice the people begging for money, people on crutches or in wheelchairs and be grateful that you have your health. Spending a few moments each day to acknowledge what you do have and to be grateful for them creates a positive frame of mind and brightens your mood.
As always, I hope you have enjoyed the input and has given you something to think about. I look forward to seeing any discussions and interaction from the community.